A couple of months ago a friend said Kristy BASE jump with me!!! Before I could even think about it, I automatically said ABSOLUTELY NOT!! For years I have watched the BASE jumpers on the bridge and thought how crazy! I could never do that! My mother’s voice telling me I would die echoed in my thoughts. Then something changed in my head as I processed the experience my friend was about to have. I have been so burned out with work and home and the stress of life. Somewhere along the path of life I have gotten stuck in a rut and have only focused on the routine of trying to be a mom and a good adult. I had forgotten I also needed to focus on being the best version of myself.
I took a leap of faith and decided to book my jump the day before my 34th birthday to celebrate my life and my future. Booking my jump was easy. I just hopped online and picked my time. There were about two weeks from the time I booked to the time I would jump. It was plenty of time for the excitement and fear to build! Every time I thought about it my stomach would do a flip flop. Sometimes I even questioned if I should cancel it. After all, what sane person jumps off a perfectly good bridge? My family did not hesitate to question my sanity and asked me if this was a midlife crisis. I responded with maybe it’s just a wake-up call to actually live the rest of my life! They politely reminded me that I have always said that I am terrified of heights. A friend recently redefined a fear of heights as a fear of falling. I like this definition much better. So, the parachute method solves this problem, right? I can do this. Then I realized it is not just fear of heights, I have been terrified of so much lately and am stressed out to the max. It is well past due time to reframe fear and take back control of how I am going to live my life. I have to use my anxiety differently before it consumes my being.
The day of the jump felt surreal. The process of getting into the harness, going over safety checks, practicing the landing, and walking out to the bridge felt like someone else was in my body. I was just going through the motions. I have always been a person that cannot even walk on the bridge without anxiety causing me to freeze, but there I was, strapped into a harness walking to the center of the walking path. I did not even notice how the cars shook the ground below my feet as we walked out to the fourth light pole. My focus was on following instructions. David got the platform in place, performed another safety check then hooked me to the safety line and called out that everything was set. I climbed the platform, still just following directions, and listened as he called out the connection points for my harness. When he said, “safety chain disconnected turn to your left”, it was like I suddenly woke up. I was back in my body, and now my toes are hanging off a platform. Do I really want to do this? Is it too late? Then I hear, “here we go bend your knees, BETSY”!!!!
Just like that, I am free falling, completely weightless for what seemed like forever. This is the moment you truly hear what your scream of sheer terror sounds like. It is also the moment you learn just how amazing it is to release this scream and all your bottled-up emotions. You get to fly! When the parachute opened a sense of sheer relief and excitement came over me. It was a feeling of pure peace and happiness. At that moment I was completely free from all the tethers of life and the anxiety I have been carrying around; it was a true moment of mindfulness, and the canyon was more beautiful than I had ever seen it before. I guess you can say I had been taking this breathtaking scenery for granted. I felt like I transformed into a brand-new person as we glided gently down towards the target. Then comes the landing, the ground is rushing towards me. David calls out get ready, legs up! Can I do this?? YES, YES, I CAN! We landed just like we practiced, safe and sound.
The moments following the landing are indescribable. I stood there shaking from adrenaline looking up at the bridge. I noticed my lips going numb and felt clumsy like a child. All I could think was I just did that! I jumped off the iconic Perrine bridge, all 486 feet of it (491 with the platform). I faced a fear and embraced adventure. The best part? I loved every second of it. I thought, If I can do this, I wonder what else I can face? What else can I achieve? The limits I had set for myself were shattered and the world was a whole new place.
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